Our testing and challenging time lately

God has really tested my strength and patience this past week. Kris got laid off from his job last Friday. He had really bad vibes this would be happening and unfortunately he was right. The gold course he was working at has no more money. 2 months ago Kris had to lay off 6-7 crew members and about a month ago he was asked to lay off his assistant. In the meantime we tried to stay positive and tell ourselves there was no way they'd lay off Kris. There's no one higher than Kris at the course except the GM who runs the operations of the course. Well, we were wrong. They're out of money and the one way to get more money is to cut from the top. Kris was replaced within 3 days with someone making $20K less than Kris. It was apparant they had been looking/interiewing while Kris was still employed.

I've tried my best to stay positive and optimistic for Kris this past week, but it's getting harder and harder with each passing day. He picked up his final paycheck from the golf course yesterday and found out they re-nigged on thier severence offer. Initially they told him maybe a month of severence, then when he went on Monday to get the last of his office things they told him they'd probably be able to offer 2 weeks severence. And then the assholes didn't end up giving him anything. I about lost it. So, we have his paycheck to pay the bills for the next 2 weeks and then we're screwed. And, I just paid bills and we have NO more money for the next 2 weeks. Thankfully, our vehicles are full on gas, Maddox has diapers, and we did our grocery run. So, we're all covered there. The only thing I gotta figure out is lunch money for Leyton. I can pack his lunches on some of the days, but the more I do that the quicker we run out of food too.

Kris filed for his unemployment yesterday. He has submitted his resume/applications to multiple places. The great thing about Kris is he will do whatever it takes for his family. One of the jobs it looks like he has a great chance of getting is about 3 steps back in his profession and $30K less a year. But, we have to have SOMETHING right now. He also is pursuing going back to waiting tables as a 2nd job. He has a lot of experience with it and made great cash in the past when he waited tables and was a bartender. There is a fine dining establishment here in McKinney that is hiring and he has already gone thru 2 interviews with them and passed. He has his 3rd/final interview with the owner of the restaurant on Monday. Hopefully then he'll find out when he can start his 2 weeks of mandatory training and when he would get paid for that training.

I'm really, really stressed. Keeping our credit in good standing is of the upmost importance to Kris and I. So, it's imperitive we pay our bills on time. We've never, ever been in a situation like this and I think that's probably why I'm really stressed and getting depressed about this. I've put on this outer shell of happiness and 'everything's going to be okay' and my shell is crumbling piece by piece. The boys have no clue of what's going on and that's the way we'll keep it. All that matters is that mommy and daddy are happy. There's no reason for Leyton to know that daddy is not working or switching jobs. It's too much for him to take in and he doesn't need that stress/burden either. So, Kris and I try to remain like nothing's changed to the boys, but that's why I'm crumbling on the inside. The facade is getting harder and harder.

Edward Jones

Last Friday I had an interview with an Edward Financial Advisor to be his Brank Office Assistant. Basically, in a nutshell, I would he his assistant. The interview went great. I was with him for an hour and a half at Starbucks. The pay is so-so, but it's more than I'm making now and even with paying for Maddox in daycare I'll still be bringing home extra. The benefits and bonuses and great. When I left the meeting he asked me to call him today, Monday, and let him know a time frame for when I'd like to start.

So, I talked to the Edwards Jones guy again today. I told him I could start for him anytime after Spring Break, so basically anytime after Mar 23. I figure that will give me a month to let the preschool know I'm leaving and get me replaced. He then asked me if I would be able to start on March 1 if he'd give me the week of Spring Break off. I was shocked. That's so SOON! I was really hoping to give the preschool more advance notice, but he said he'd make sure I can give them atleast 2 weeks. The job hasn't 'officially' been offered to me either, but obviously I think he's ready to move forward, lol. The St. Louis headquarter office contacted me via email about 1.5 hours after I talked to Mike to set up my phone interview that is required for all applicants. I also have to fill out a 12 page application and fax it to them!

I'm very anxious about it all. I mean, wow, that means I have to find a daycare pronto for Maddox and get him enrolled. (Boo, that means I have to tell his teachers he's leaving too. :-( ) I also still need to figure out what I'm going to do with Leyton after school. I'm going to talk to my carpool friend tonight to see if she'll watch him. Ugh, I hate change, but this is good change, ya know? I just really, really hate that I'm going to have to tell the preschool I'm leaving. I mean, duh, it was inevitable ya know. But, I hate letting people down and I know my director will not be happy and this will just add more stress to her plate on getting me replaced.

Update on ATI

Okay, okay, so I was a little crazy for thinking I maybe wanted to go back to ATI. After I was there and interviewed for my old position I looked at it from a whole new perspective. But get this, can you believe they didn't offer me the job?!?! Yeah, yeah, so I had already made the decision that I didn't want to go back. But, I mean seriously, I really would have preferred them offer me the job so I could turn it down. I guess it's true what they say, that it's harder to get back in the work force after you've left it to have kids. Kris choses to believe that they didn't offer me the job because they didn't want to pay me at the salary that I left at when they could have easily hired the same position at entry level for $8K less. IDK, maybe they didn't think my personality would jive with the others??

I don't know what my future holds, but what I do know is that I have got to find a better paying job to help us get out of our DEBT. I can't keep doing what I'm doing. Working 2 jobs and 40/hrs per week sucks! The pay sucks! I am so sick of living paycheck to paycheck. It sucks. I have got to get out there and get a job paying a decent amount of money. Thankfully we'll be getting our tax return soon and that will all be applied to debt. That in itself will help lower our monthly debt by some. My mom is very encouraging. She's always telling me that she and my dad were in the same boat when they were raising my brother and I. Raising kids is tough and very expensive. We'll be out of our financial rut someday, I'm just so ready to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Am I going crazy or do I really want to go back?

Back to Anthony Travel, that is.

ATI has really been on my mind a lot lately. My friends, my old job, what a great company it is, and just memories in general. Some of this has been sparked by finding some old work friends on Facebook. And, some of it is because I think about how much $$ I used to make there and how much we're in debt now because I chose to quit and stay home with the boys. A few nights ago I had a dream of working at ATI again and it was a good dream. I couldn't get it out of my head at all. On a whim, I decided to pull up their website to see if they were even hiring. If they didn't have any positions than it would be easy for me to just toss the idea aside. Low and behold, they are hiring for an Event Manager, which is what I did when left there doing.

So, I made the call! I called my old boss. Maggie and I left on great terms. She understood my need to leave at the time. We still exchange the occassional email, Christmas cards, etc. She was so surprised to hear my voice and even more surprised when I told her I was considering coming back to join them.

Rejoining ATI would be extensive traveling again, which is one of the sole reasons I had to leave. With a 3 year old and a newborn baby at home, the traveling was just not an option for me anymore. But, not that Maddox is 2 1/2 years old and Leyton is in Kindergarten they are much more self-sufficient and Kris can easily handle them while I'm out of town.

There are tons of advantages for rejoining ATI. 1) The money, of course. This could really help us pay down our cc debt and get us into a new house much quicker 2) Full insurance benefits. I'm on a plan now that works for our family, but full benefits again would be tremendous. 3) I could start contributing to my 401K again! 4) I could quit my 2 jobs and not work nights/weekends again (except for when I'm traveling of course).

The disadvantages. Well, there are some, but there more hurdles than disadvantages. 1) Getting Leyton to/from school and after school care. I think I have a plan of action for this if I go back to work. 2) I'd have to pull Maddox from his preschool and enroll him in a full time daycare. Not the end of the world, especially since he's older now. He'll thrive wherever he is. 3) Ugh, I'd have to tell both jobs I'm quitting. Neither of them will be happy about that. :(

So, I'll post when I have more news. I am going in next Friday, I believe to do an 'interview'. I guess it's just protocol and following procedures. I can't expect to literally call and them say, come in, you start on Monday. ;)

Christmas thru the eyes of a child

This has got to be one of the best Christmas mornings we've spent as a family! Now that Maddox is almost 2 1/2 he really got into the Christmas spirit this year. Leyton, being 5, was so into Santa and the mystery's behind him. Don't get me wrong, it's not all Santa and his reindeer's. Both my boys know that we are celebrating Jesus' birthday as well. Leyton even asked me how old Jesus was this year...uh...how do you answer that, lol! Maddox loves to read his nativity book and see the pictures of "baby Jesus". Too cute!

This is the letter that Leyton wrote to Santa on Christmas Eve.

The boys woke up about 7a on Christmas morning. Still starry eyed and sleepy, they dug into their stockings to see what Santa had left them.

Santa also left about 5 presents for each child to unwrap. In addition to the 'Santa' presents the boys had plenty to open! So many in fact that everytime an 'adult' opened a gift, they each had one too. Needless to say, they had a great Christmas. Leyton's big gift of the day was the infamous 'DS' that he told Santa he wanted. Maddox's big gift from Papa Steve and Gma Kathy was his new ride-on Jeep. Here's a few morning pictures from our Christmas morning.

Our Christmas Holiday

It's been such a fun, relaxing week for us. I somehow managed to get off work from the daycare for the week so I decided to spend some much needed quality family time back in Oklahoma. The boys and I drove up on Sunday afternoon. Monday we went to see my grandma up in Perry, OK. Whew, SMALL TOWN AMERICA. This is a representation of just how small it really is:

After Perry we spent the rest of the afternoon playing with my cousin's kids. All the boys are really close in age and just have a blast together. Tuesday Leyton and I caught up with the flowergirl, Molly, from my brother's wedding and went to a movie. Molly is my brother's wife's neice and is also 5. After the movie we hung out at Kris' grandparents for a while and then went over to my MIL's house to see Kris' sister and my sweet niece, Kyrsten. Here she is sporting her new tutu that Aunt Trin bought her:Wednesday, Christmas Eve we spent the better part of the day and evening in Tulsa. We celebrated the holidays with Kris's mom's side of the family. It's always a great time and I hate that we only see them once or twice a year. Here's a few pictures from that day:

Christmas day gets it's only blog post entirely. :-)

Kris had to go home on Christmas night, but the boys and I stayed in Guthrie until Saturday morning. I wanted to spend more time with my bro and SIL before they went back home to Denver and Leyton's cousins were coming back over to play on Friday. It was a fun filled week and I'm so glad I got in all that quality family time.

Hug your kids a little tighter today

It's been a hard week. On Monday morning I received word that a 4 year old boy that attends the preschool I teach at passed away in a car wreck on Sunday night. It hit so close to home because I knew the mom and kids fairly well. Amber and I used to be in the same local moms group and attended several playdates together. Not only that, Amber's 2nd grader attends Leyton's elementary school and she is just about as active as I am in the PTO. I'm just surrounded every which way by this tragic story. I've received emails from the preschool director, the elementary school principal, parents in Leyton's class and fellow friends who know Amber and her children.

Amber had all 3 of her children in her minivan on the way home from attending a birthday party. They were struck by someone who ran a red light. The vehicle hit on Brett's side of the van. Amber's 2nd grader is still in the hospital with a shattered leg. He's already had one surgery to pin his shin back together and he will still need more. Amber and her 2 year old daughter were unharmed.

This tragedy has really effected me. I drive thru that same intersection everyday when I take Leyton to school. All week I've been afraid to even drive my car with my children for fear that a tragedy like this will happen to me. I'm buckling the boys up extra tight, giving them extra kisses, and telling them I love you even more.

Here's is a small story on the accident:
Amber and her 3 beautiful kids were in a horrible accident yesterday evening heading back home from a party at the 380/Lake Forest intersection. It is with a very sad and heavy heart to report that 4 year old Brett wasn't able to fight through his injuries and passed away at 2:47 am this morning. Many of Amber's friends were at the hospital shortly after the accident and were able to give this amazing little man our love and many many tears before we had to say goodbye.

Andrew has a serious injury to his shin which will require several surgeries to repair the damage, one of which he had early this morning and came out like a trooper. He will be in the hospital at least a week undergoing surgeries. Amber and Danielle were not injured in the accident. Chris was in town and was able to be at the hospital shortly after the accident took place.